Valentine’s Day is all candy hearts, roses, and candlelight when you’re partnered up with someone who gives you the proverbial “butterflies.” But what if you’re very much solo? Or what if you’re a long-married, slightly weary cynic whose butterflies flapped away years ago to find fresher, younger, more idealistic pastures?
Don’t cancel Valentine’s Day altogether, urges Jill Palmquist. Instead, think of it as a (frilly, flowery, Champagne-bubbly) wake-up call to fall deeply in love with your own life.
“This life we’ve been given is our one great love,” says Palmquist, author of In This Lifetime. “It is magnificent, it is awe-inspiring, and it is heartbreakingly brief. Yet too many of us sleepwalk right through our own love story without even noticing what a gift we have.”
Most of us are so mired in the trap of working, paying bills, and drowning in media-fueled dread (we do this to ourselves, mind you!) that we miss what matters. Disconnected from the stunning beauty of the Universe and the power of our own life force, we squander our days feeling lonely, discouraged, and isolated. Palmquist is on a mission to change that.
“What I’m saying is, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day; you’re going to die,’” she laughs. “I’m only half joking. Life is short, but it’s also lovely and poignant and filled with starry night skies and meals with friends and walks with dogs. What I’m saying is, let’s focus on those things.”
Palmquist is tossing out images from In This Lifetime. On the surface, it’s a coffee table book. But look deeper and it’s a distilled master class in waking up to the magic of being alive, with amazing bodies and curious minds that can do so many incredible things. The book is filled with breathtaking photographs, thought-provoking essays, proverbs, parables, conversation starters, and distilled snippets of life wisdom.
A few tips that may help you fall in love with your life:
See how an unexpected encounter with a single patch of sunlight can change your life. Instead of doomscrolling or playing the comparison game on your socials, go outside to enjoy fresh air and have some life-affirming experiences. Don’t just think, I’m grateful for this sunny day and move on. Take it further. Engage with the day!!!! Walk in the sunshine and feel how it dances on your skin. Look for and see where the lighted pathway wants to lead you.
Find your people, make your friends, love your tribe. Romantically attached or not, we weren’t meant to trudge through life alone. We need the fortification of our tribe—those we love because we are tied together by blood or by choices—to help us through the tough times and cheer us on during the good times. If you aren’t doing so already, reach out to build community. Invite your ragtag friends for a home-cooked meal. Join a volunteer organization. Sign up for a fitness class or join a choir. Your tribe is out there; you’ve just got to find them.
“Realize in one day there are one thousand opportunities to be kind.” This, a quote from Palmquist’s book, encapsulates how she tries to live. Putting kindness out into the world boomerangs and comes back to you, she insists. See how much love you can give (and receive) by sharing your goodwill with others. Give of your money (if you have it) and your time (which is even more valuable). Slow down and make every interaction in your day show others that there is good in the world. Offer a smile. (We all need kindness more than ever.)
Feel the energy in your body… Your body is an ideal vessel for experiencing all of life’s pleasures. “It quivers with potency, surges with power, then rests in joy,” writes Palmquist. Fall in love with all the things you can do. Move your body every day to stay fit and healthy. Go for a walk or a bike ride. Play in the backyard with your dog. Explore a forest floor with your children.
…And feed it lifegiving (and freaking delicious!) foods. Sure, there’s a time and place to grab something convenient and uninspired when you need to have food right now. But make bland and boring fare the rare exception by focusing on tasty and nutritious whole foods, from fresh salads loaded with protein and drizzled with peppery EVOO to roasted veggie sammies piled high with your favorite toppings to berries drizzled with local honey. Eating well keeps your body in top-notch condition and promotes your longevity.
Bask in grace. Pause to experience those divine moments of ultimate happiness when you have no idea what you did to deserve this. Show up for an evening sunset (never assume that you can just catch the next one). Gaze at a newborn and appreciate the miracle of life. Look into the serene and loving eyes of your animal companion and really feel the presence of love.
“Know you get one body, one life, and one chance to make the best of it,” Palmquist writes. Will it be perfect? Probably not. But it’s the only one you’re gonna get, so lean into it and really love it. In other words (as she also writes), “Squeeeeze the life out of the day.”
“Valentine’s Day might be a bit of a manufactured event,” admits Palmquist. “But it can remind us to notice what real love is. Think about what it means to be here on this rock, in these spectacular bodies. We can smile and laugh, we can make someone’s life better, we can feel gratitude for what the earth gives us. We can eat chocolate, for crying out loud! We can, and should, make our own butterflies…when we don’t, we’re doing life, and love, wrong.”
About the Author:
Jill Palmquist is a celebrated author, engaging speaker, and VP/chief storytelling officer at Life Time. Jill’s message isn’t about personal development or leadership in the traditional sense—it’s about living fully, joyfully, and as your true, unique self.
Jill has spent over 20 years helping Life Time evolve into a beloved brand that has redefined the health club industry. Along the way, she’s been inspired by its millions of members and gathered insights, wisdom, and stories that illuminate what it means to live a healthy, happy life.
Her book, aptly titled In This Lifetime, is a manifesto that will help you notice, appreciate, and enjoy the beauty of being alive, give a gentle nudge to the brevity…and offer simple suggestions for making the most of this whole human experience.
About the Book:
In This Lifetime (Wise Ink, September 2024, ISBN: 978-1-63489-689-4, $105.00) is available from Life Time, Inc.
Staff Writer
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